This post is long and possibly boring to some of you- skip it if you want, just skim it if you prefer. Or read it all to understand why I want to home school my kids... since most people wonder why. Plus it will be good for me to have this written down, someday when I think "WHY? WHY? WHY AM I DOING THIS?" I can look back and remember some of the reasons I feel this is so important.
Social Skills
First, I'll address the number one concern I hear from people when I say I want to home school:
Generally something like "Aren't you worried about their social skills?"
NO.
I like to quote another homeschool mother: “I have nothing kind to say about the sort of socialization that occurs in schools, the children are thrown into single-age, often very large groups with no meaningful interactions with adults.”
The public school's primary job is to "educate". Socializing is
discouraged in most settings. Children are not supposed to talk in the classroom, or the hallway and some schools say not even in the cafeteria. So... most socializing takes place on the playground; the values most children learn at recess do not exactly align with the better morals of society. Issues such as bullying, drugs, sexual talk and actions, and the establishment of an unfair pecking order, etc...do not really meet up with the norms of adult life. Where in the "real world" or workplace are adults expected to interact with 20 to 30 people of their own age and not those who are younger or older?
I'm willing to say that 75% or more of my socializing that took place
during school hours came in the form of writing/passing notes. Another 'not real' form of socializing. Most real social interaction happened after school.
Also, I've known several people who were home schooled who are more emotionally/socially mature than I am. And while in the public school system I met plenty of social retards.
Homeschooling does not mean being a social misfit, and public school is not a guarantee of normalcy.
So NO---I'm not worried about it.
Relationships
On a related note, I am greatly encouraged by what I read about relationships in home school families.
I've been doing a lot of reading from home school families about what works for them and curriculum ideas, how they plan and execute, etc.
Well, across the board I read stuff about how home school teenagers are not disrespectful and rude to their parents. They are generally not rebellious. They are kind polite and hard-working.
I've even read from mothers who talked about how bad their teenagers attitude had become, and then they started homeschooling- and within months the child was kinder, more positive, and had a much healthier and more open relationship with their parents and siblings. So even after public school and peer pressure has convinced a child that he is 'supposed' to dislike his parents and such- the damage can be reversed through home school.
I believe absolutely that:
"...There is no generation gap. That is another tool of the devil. Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load” --Ezra Taft Benson
And:
"Another face of pride is...generation gaps..." --Ezra Taft Benson
It is not required for teenagers to hate their parents, it is a lie that a child will hear repeated often from much of society.
I want good quality relationships with my children, and I believe that this can
best be achieved through homeschooling them.
Self-paced, Individualized Education
A woman I know, has an 11 year old son who has been diagnosed with some sensory disorders and anxiety disorder. His anxiety disorder causes him trouble in school. He gets less than 50% on every test he takes because he can't handle the stress of taking the test, even if he knows the information. The mother spent 2 years working with the school to get an individualized education plan (IEP) for her son. Basically she wanted the teachers to give him tests without calling it a 'test'- just call it a worksheet or something. It would still reveal how much he learned about the subject without him freaking out. They refused... you can only have an IEP if your child is on behavioral medication. No matter that he is DIAGNOSED with the disorder, since they are trying to use counselling and such instead of medications, there is nothing the school can do to help him. I really believe this boy would do well in a home school situation. He needs someone who understands his unique needs to help him succeed.
When I was in first grade, we had workbooks that we did our math out of. I finished my ENTIRE math book before Christmas break. So what do you think they did? Get me a 2nd grade math book? Recommend me for some gifted program? Nope. For the rest of the year I spent math time everyday playing board games with the down syndrome girl in the back of the class. Ev-er-y-day! Yep- they didn't give the girl who's great a math a chance to get ahead. And they completely gave up on educating the down syndrome girl.
In home school- my kids will be able to work 'ahead' and excel as much as they want- I will NOT hold them back, and if I have a child with a learning disability I won't just give up and let them fail- they will learn, at a slower pace, but they will continue to learn instead of just being pushed through.
Another example in Math: I was always good at math, it was always very easy for me... so in math class I never took notes-- I didn't need to. I got A's on all my tests without taking notes and without studying. In my Algebra class we learned how to derive the quadratic equation from the Pythagorean theorem. It was a copious amount of note taking that I didn't bother with. The next day I had memorized the quadratic equation (more than I could say for most of the other students, I'm sure) then we were given an open note pop quiz on how to derive the quadratic formula. I got 5% on the test because I was able to write the memorized formula down- and that was it. It seemed (and still does seem) completely unfair. I was punished and failed a test because I was smart enough to not need to take notes. Some other kids who were dumb as rocks got A's on that test because they didn't have to think: they just copied down their notes. This is not what education should be about!
I believe education should be for learning, not for memorizing something long enough to regurgitate it on a test and then forgetting it forever. This, however, is not how government run schools feel.
Curriculum
I don't like the ridiculous curriculum of public schools. I remember my high school world history class. We spent a couple weeks on Greek Mythology. And another couple weeks on Roman Mythology. And then we had another test comparing Greek Mythology to Roman Mythology. MYTHOLOGY=FAKE but we spent most of the semester learning about it.
In this history class, did I learn about The crusades, the inquisition, WWI? No
Any history at all that took place in Asia, Africa, Australia or South America (This was WORLD history after all)? No.
WWII? A little.
I remember studying, in detail, the disgusting gory symptoms of the black plague. Quality education there people: symptoms of a practically nonexistent disease, and myths.
Also, in my American history class we watched Forest Gump. Twice. Somehow I think there could have been a better use of my time.
Also, in some states, all textbooks will now refrain from saying the words 'marriage' 'husband' or 'wife' So remember Martha Washington? You know... George Washington's Life partner? Stupid, right? I don't need my kids being taught that kind of politically correct garbage.
Also, I can objectively teach some things (like evolution) to my kids. I believe in evolution, I just don't believe in an atheistic 'natrural' origin to life. There is NO proof that life began in some "primordial organic soup" (as my biology book this semester calls it) NONE! They only have
indirect evidence that it
could be possible. But it is taught like fact. Do public schools teach the controversy that actually surrounds The Evolutionary Origin theory? Do they teach children about how statistically unlikely (see: impossible) it would be to have life spontaneously generate, and then survive, reproduce and mutate into the incredibly diverse living world we live in now? NO.
Honest/Fair Evaluation of My Child's Performance
This is a story from my former Visiting Teaching companion (who is now homeschooling her youngest child) She's sure her son has some kind of learning disorder, and he was attending the preschool that is run by our local school district. (So this is the same as public school) He was 5 years old about to start kindergarten and he knew only a couple of letters (but didn't know their corresponding sounds), he couldn't really count, and he could only identify some basic shapes and colors. A bit behind for a 5 year old, right? End of the year Parent teacher conferences:
Teacher: Your son is so smart
Mother: Really?
Teacher: Yeah, you can just tell he really gets it.
Mother: Are you sure? (then lists some of his struggles)
Teacher: Oh, well yeah, but you can just tell that somewhere, deep down, he gets it.
Mother: riiiight....
They refused to honestly tell her that her son was behind. Apparently that particular school felt that it was unfair to admit that some children are more or less advanced than others. How will that attitude help him in the real world?? He'll be in for a real shock when he gets fired from job after job, because growing up everyone said he was smart and never tried to teach him to make up for his learning deficiencies.
In our school district they have this program called 'Character Counts' (I have no idea if this program is throughout AZ or even throughout the nation) But anyway, it's supposed to reward kids who not only work hard in academics, but model good attitudes and behaviors. Thus, "Character Counts". Talking to a mother in out ward, her daughter was upset that she didn't win character counts even once all year, since someone wins every month and you get some good prizes, I guess. Well the girl and mother ask her teacher why she never got character counts, she thinks she deserved it. The teacher said that yes, this girl absolutely
deserved the award, repeatedly. But it wouldn't be
fair to give the award to some girl who really exhibits good character. (Did you get that???) The teacher told her that since this girl was already modeling good character and would continue to do so- she didn't need the prize. It was better to give it to the kids who don't normally try for good character traits, but could use some encouragement, to feel good about themselves.
Two different examples both show that public schools are unwilling to honestly evaluate a child's performance. It wouldn't be 'nice' to let some child think that they aren't equal to every other child around them. How on earth are these kids ever expected to improve if they are constantly being lied to about their shortcomings? That's how you get morons on American Idol who swear that everyone they know tells them how great they are at singing- No one was ever willing to tell them they weren't in tune! It's not ever going to be beneficial to spare someones feeling by lying to them.
I teach piano lessons to 3 siblings. When they mess up should I just tell them what great piano players they are? That wouldn't help them- if they are ever going to succeed at playing the piano I have to tell them when they play the wrong note, or the wrong rhythm. I'm not mean about it, but I'm honest. I do praise them when they do well. But, again, I'm honest about it. Apparently however, if I were a public run educational institution I would just pat them on the back and tell them they are such good piano players. And then they would never learn to play a song correctly.
I do not want my children handicapped by the public school system, or like the girl in my ward, to have truly positive qualities ignored because they are 'good enough' to not need encouragement.
Temptations
This is a reason for homeschooling that I don't feel as strongly about, but Jason seems to think this is a heavy hitter when it comes to reasons to home school our kids.
How many stupid decisions do teenagers make because of peer pressure? I think it's a lot. Regardless of the severity of the bad decisions, I think I can correctly say that most bad decisions made by high school students are mostly influenced by peer pressure.
And the reason I don't feel too strongly about this is that there are still temptations around in the world, and they will still deal with peer pressure in college and in the work force.
BUT... you also are more likely to have your head on straight by the time you get to college. So yes, there will be continued pressure to follow the crowd, but I think the pressure will be greatly abated, and therefore easier to resist. So even if this isn't super important to me, I still think it's a valid point.
So this isn't 100% comprehensive, there are too many reasons to list them all, but it gives you a good idea of why I want to home school my kids.
